Raiders 2-0 Gemadept

Dear Raiders,

This is the match report of the Raiders against gemedept, the raiders are a really great football team, an absolute great team. We have some of the best if not the best players in the league. The other teams are not even teams, some are ridiculous absolutely ridiculous, a total disaster.

 This was the day we where going to play gemedept, it should have been a great game. The Raiders started of with a strong eleven without Andy who somehow decided to fuck up his sign up, how difficult can it be, yes or no? A total fuck up, believe me its true. That should have been a turkey already, but no the guys decided to vote for me, ridiculous, total unfair. The absence of Andy made Hoggy start up in front, my god, what a disappointment that would be, a total disaster.

Raiders started with a 3, 5, 2. Coach Colin thought it is the best system god ever created, 4,3,3 is a total disaster it’s not even even a system, it’s fake it’s a fake system.

Pat stepped up to be a goalie, which was great, absolutely fantastic. This deserved him to MOTM by keeping a clean sheet. The other 10 positions might have slipped my mind but we had Hoggy and Rick the Dutch guy up front, Dutch people they are great people, it’s true, some of the best people in the world are Dutch.

The first minutes the raiders seemed lost and no balls where going in the right direction, it looked like it was going to be a disaster. However Gemedept still couldn’t beat the Raiders squad, they couldn’t do it. 

Hoggy was too focused on the title of top scorer and not in good shape, its true! Some of our supports will fully agree and made this clear during the game. After 10 to 15 minutes he missed a chance one on one with the keeper, produced a power less shot that went straight into the hands of the goalie, it wasn’t even a real shot, ridiculous attempt, absolutely ridiculous.

Somewhere in the first half the Raiders got a free kick just outside the box, Danny Vo stepped up to take it. Gemedept build a 9-player wall, nobody build walls better then they do, it was a terrific wall, this wall was so big you could see it from space, its true. This wall was so big it makes Danny Vo his training wall looks small! It’s even rumored they made Danny Vo pay for it. However the great wall builders didn’t think about Rick, the attempt from Danny was blocked by the great wall but the ball went up and in the direction of the goal, Rick jumped up and head budded it in, amazing goal you gotta love it. This goal will most likely make him the Raiders top scorer, and another great Dutch legend is born. Did I already mention Dutch people are great, absolutely fantastic?

 Coach Colin made some changes in the first half including the 3,5,2 formation to 4,4,2 system, properly the second best system god ever created.  

Gary decided to go on a rampage, pushing, kicking and talking a lot with the referee and the opponent. This ended up with 2 or 3 Gemedept players receiving a yellow card and Gary walking away clean, most raiders wondering how he didn’t get booked. With the referee on your side you can screw the opponents, its true, Gary does it week in week out.

Colin gave a speech at half time about what it means to be a team and that we have to fight to keep up our performance. 

The speech didn’t really helped as the second half wasn’t much better than the first half. Ben S. scored a goal with his shin or was it a tackle, I have seen the reply and still wonder how he managed to get the ball in. The Gemedept goalie also didn’t look to confident, but who cared!

The second half wasn’t too excited, Craig got tunneled which could have been a turkey. Hoggy produced a shot which looked more like a rocket, this and all the other attempts failed. After getting MVP in Beijing (which he shows out shouts out at every occasion) he has the focus on the top scorer title, to brag up even more.

Then there was a goal kick from Pat which I controlled, dropped down dead from my belly. This was the first time this thing finally came in handy. Some people decided to give a shout for a hand ball, which was ridiculous, absolutely not true. The referee picked this up and decided it was a free kick. I stopped it with my belly, I swear, I got mad and decided in words, signage and sound to make very clear it wasn’t a hand ball, in my fury I kicked the ball away and get booked.  You bastards voted for me as turkey of the match, I suspect you might be Mexican, total scumbags, absolute losers.

Cheers you scumbags!

2 Replies to "Raiders 2-0 Gemadept"

  • comment-avatar
    May 29, 2017 (1:13 pm)


  • comment-avatar
    May 29, 2017 (1:29 pm)

    Haha, brilliant stuff

Got something to say?

Some html is OK