Ew the French
Odin blessed his Vikings with a generous shower before the kick-off of match day 5.
Ew the French…. It also marked the return of coach-player-striker-keeper Jonas and as such, could be seen in the trembling hands of today’s referees. The Malay Ray was ready for today’s mêlée, and was lined up on the left wing. He never quite recovered from an early, blazing 30-meter gallop and was taken off not long after. A solid first start for Ray Ray.
Bald Beauty would have the first shot on target after he picked the pocket of a defender and dashed into the box. It resulted in yet another goal avoidance by Hoggy. The keeper would show his gratitude by embracing and then mounting our handsome forward in what the ref assumed, I’m guessing, was a crime of passion. No penalty.
Fuck up #2 of the match was an illegal handling of the ball by the opposing keeper near the 6. I’ll leave this here for reference. “Illegal back-passes are punished with an indirect free-kick wherever the handling occurred…” The ref was feeling creative and chose to multiply by 3. He placed the ball on the edge of the penalty area. Enraged, Odin guided the deflected Rowe shot into the path of Baldy who buried it into the back of the net. Top bins. Wha’ an absolute screamuhh… and all the other adorable things my cousins across the pond like to say.
Later on in the half, a Mr. James Talbot steamrolled a defenseless opposing player in the box. The ref remembered his job this time. Jonas groaned and grudgingly put out his cigarette. The penalty was converted. Ew the French. 1-1. An opposing player would thank Jonas minutes later with a kiss on the cheek with his ass. Very French.
Hoggy had a third chance annnnd.. side netting. Goal avoidance #2.
Our man of the match, a Mr. Magnus aka. baby Thor, aka Foxy’s one true love, aka Mr. Suave, would have the final say in regards to the score line. He intercepted a pass near the halfway line, dropped his shoulder and dashed his way to the box, he skated right, he slid left, nut-megged a defender, and slotted it not quite top bins, as Sipho would correct me. We settled on middish bins. 2-1.
There was a bit of excitement as two opposing players simultaneously tried to amputate Ed at the ankles. But since the league cleverly moved the team benches to the far side of the field, no extra drama emerged. A yellow was awarded and play resumed. Oh wait, a bit later, a third opposing player attempted to finish the job. Hacking again at the ankle. No yellow awarded. Oh wait, a bit later, an opposing player left is his leg out wide in a 50/50 collision against the tank. Physics took care of the rest. No cards awarded.
The remainder of the match was hard fought. The Vikings stayed organized, resilient, and went on to claim the first win and the first points of the season. Should be four. Thanks Guido.
Next, the Vikings go on to face the Saigon Thunder. A good challenge against a side sitting currently second on the table.